What Is The Rebuild

What Is The Rebuild

See that photo? That was me in the Summer of 2014. I still have a long way to go, but that side view says it all about where I was back then.

The last few years have left me really ragged financially, physically, cognitively. When a start-up isn’t making it, the start-up will “pivot.” It will change the bearing of its assets and direct those energies elsewhere. I started a position that will last for eight or more months. I am setting on a new course of rebuilding and repair. The goal is to rebuild.


Our finances are a mess when you pick them apart. On the surface, good credit and bad credit amount to whether or not you can keep your finances apparently solid. If your credit is good, you can borrow money for almost no interest. We were recently offered $325,000 at 2.35%– that’s a lot for a little. I have been spending the last couple years keeping all of the balls in the air. Last year, we made the dubious choice of buying a corporation that couldn’t make money; at the same time, I set-up a corporation to sell software-as-a-service only to discover that my partner was unwilling to sell and forbade me from selling or getting anyone else to sell the software.

In the next six months, I don’t have to “repair” my credit, luckily. The balances have spiralled higher every month for the last few years, but we didn’t default on anything. The coming months will be spent paying down our debt. Much of my consulting money will go onto the debt to knock it down. If I’m lucky, I intend to come into June 2015 carrying a mortgage and car payments. Along the way: we’re buying Christmas presents and we’re maybe going out of town a couple times.

Oh, and I’m getting a damned kayak. My health and cognition depends on it.


I’m a big fat ass. That’s not a surprise. Do I walk; or work? I’ve been working. Do I eat healthy food; or cheap crap? I’ve been eating crap. I’ve been sacrificing my health to buy bandwidth to keep my businesses going. It hasn’t been paying off in any regard: I’m poorer and fatter now than I was four years ago.

In the next six months, I will continue to use my lunch breaks to walk the Ring Road while I eat my lunch. Thirty minutes a day of exercise will hopefully go a long way to addressing my weight, when I repeat that exercise 160 more times in the next six months. On top of that, my eating will improve: smaller portions of food that’s healthier.


When I went to Drupalcon 2010, I remarked, “I can feel my brain getting bigger.” It feels like mental agility comes from a well. The job of staying “ahead” in IT is like winning a mental arms race. New stuff comes out and you have to be up on it. You have to stop and research. If you do not, the old knowledge becomes less useful, effectively evaporating as its impact diminishes. Deploying projects pauses my knowledge build. As I’ve been spending too much time making too little; and too much time on no-income projects, the pause for skills buildings would have likely have made the last few years all that much worse. The well has run dry.

In the next six months, I am going to continue digging on my pet projects. I am going to dig into new topic areas. Some of them are very old chestnuts. Some are new topics. On a deeper level, I hope to crystallize some of the emotional evolution that I have been undergoing for the last couple years. I want to ready myself for success. I want to feel ready to be present and active in my life and the lives of those around me.

Let’s see where this journey takes me.