Financial Rebuild

I came into 2014 as a smoking husk. My money was really good from the mid-2000s through to 2011. Then, I quit my job and things started to rattle. When I got a good job with an anemic income, my husk rusted. When I couldn’t externalize any of my finances to my spouse, that looked worse. I got a better-paying job that was really lousy. I left that dud and went back to a previous employer. In the last year, I set up my own consulting business to pipe in side cash. I lost my capacity for self-advocacy and worked for sub-contractors who wouldn’t pay me well and created a lot of waste. Then, I started to work for contractors who did pay me well and created a lot of efficiency.

There is this mental picture I hold in my head. When I was a kid, I built a generator and hooked it to light bulb. I was the power source. I turned that little wheel. When I was really cranking it, the bulb shone bright. When I stopped, then light went off immediately. No delay. No built up electric capital. No win from momentum. Batman fears bats. I fear the lack of momentum in what I do. My goal in life is to build something that has financial momentum. I want to take a day off and see money show up.

Contracting and clients create the opposite of financial momentum. When I work, I get paid. When I don’t work, the cash suddenly stops. A doi. Reading that, you may think I am something between lazy and delusional that I want money for nothing. No: I’m like everyone else. When we leave work, we expect that the working hours will cover off hours of leisure, hours of sleep and stat holidays. That’s what income does: the labour stops and money covers the non-labour hours. When I stop working, I jeopardize my income. One guy was I sub-contracting for would only pay me for work done after I did new work and never pay me for the work that was done when it was done. In other words: if I wanted to be paid for what I did, I had to do more work. When I stopped working for him, anything recently done was left unpaid. As a contractor, you can do everything right and still not get paid. If you’re sub-contracting, your parent contractor can wreck the project and leave you unpaid. You say something akin to “fuck you pay me” but even a gun to their head doesn’t distill into cash. The same is true with all sorts of work, but custom contract work is made for one client and doesn’t fit well for the next guy. What you do for one client is huge exposure and tepid returns. The way to make money is to make something and have it used again and again. That sounds like a product and that’s where I want to go.

Where I want to go: I want to made products. I have two product ideas. I am going to get them rolling with the time I have available. But likely: those are going to get to a lead capture page and then stop. Stop? Yeah: stop. I am going to get to the point where a predictable but strong employment income repairs my debt situation. Keeping my money situation short of catastrophe is a terrific drain on my will. When I get that addressed, I will feel much better. When I get that mental, emotional and financial bandwidth back, I can pick-up the product projects.