The Rebuild Blog

Swimming Away From The Liferaft

I have agoraphobia. I first noticed it in a pronounced way when I was about 14. Prior to that, I would just opt to stay home instead of going out. It got to be a pretty familiar practice. By 14, I would end up with massive anxiety fits. I took Grade 9 as home schooling […]

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The Masks We Wear

I went to a really interesting discussion on the Droppin’ The Mask. The masks we wear. We wear them out of social necessity or out of internal drivers. We wear them as tools to carry out our day-to-day lives. What happens when we drop those masks? This topic sparked some questions in me. What are […]

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Let’s Start The Rebuild… Again

Thirteen months ago, I was gung-ho to get the Rebuild going. It turned out, at the time, that I wasn’t done with being busted. When this launched in December 2014, I thought my marriage was good. I thought my family was good. I thought I had a good place to rebuild my health and finances […]

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The Naked Truth

The layers of the old me are starting to strip off. Beneath that are the older versions of me. This feels like a geological dig. As I find the smaller me inside, I can dress it up and show off this newer body. The Chronology of Obesity Until I was five years old, I could […]

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The Alchemy of Rage

In the weeks that have followed my break-up, I have had to contend with rage. At the outset of the break-up, I had the sampler of emotions: remorse, regret, rage, sadness, hurt, bitterness. They were prepped fast food style and served out immediately to whoever was closest at hand. Often I dumped them on my […]

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The Crash

The Rebuild started as my little internal project in October. I was going to walk to lose weight, then work some side jobs to get some money to pay down debts. Then, ruminate on how to be more positive in the world. I thought the outlook element was the least of my worries having sunk […]

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The Wish List

People spend so much time talking themselves out of achieving their goals. Next time you look at a wish list of things you want to do, consider it a to-do list of things you are going to do. Don’t fixate on the problems– those elements that keep you apart from your wish list. Make that […]

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A Capacity To Long

People should never be afraid of feeling too much. People who love can experience crests of happiness, satisfaction and peace. Don’t be afraid of the downsides: longing, strain and discord. They give your life contrast.

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What Is The Rebuild

See that photo? That was me in the Summer of 2014. I still have a long way to go, but that side view says it all about where I was back then. The last few years have left me really ragged financially, physically, cognitively. When a start-up isn’t making it, the start-up will “pivot.” It […]

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